What To Talk About In Therapy: 10 Talking Points For 2021

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What to talk about in therapy:

10 Talking Points + 3 Bonus Therapy Tips

Five tips to talk about yourself in therapy with a new therapist; be honest, don’t hold anything back, talk about your anxiety and depression, say what’s on your mind and there are zero things you should never tell your therapist. Your therapist is there to help you, trust them and work together.

Here is What To Talk About In Therapy: 10 Talking Points For 2021.

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In today’s blog, I am going to help you come up with a plan for going to therapy for the first time. Knowing what to talk about in therapy will help you feel confident before you walk into the therapists’ office for the first time.

In this post, I will also cover these key topics when starting therapy.

It’s not easy to get over the negative stigma towards therapy sessions. We want to applaud you for being here and looking to make the most of your upcoming therapy session.

Like everything else we do, the more time we put into it more comfortable it becomes. Let these therapy tips help you get to that point. 

If you need an extra push of motivation, shoot Tall Paul (our Founder) a DM. He has gone to 100+ therapy sessions, one being a guided MDMA Therapy session, and is happy to talk about his experience and guide you to get the most out of therapy.

If you take nothing else from this blog, please read this next section a few times before moving on.

Your new therapist can’t help you if you do not take the time to let them in. They do not read minds, nor do they know everything that has happened in your life up until now.

Commit yourself to at least four sessions with your therapist before deciding,  

 ” Therapy is not for me.”

Here is what to talk about in therapy: 10 talking points for 2020 if you don't know where to start

Your thoughts on why therapy won't help you

Come out swinging. The brutal honesty of telling your brand new therapist within the first 5 minutes this news is the way to go. They will not be hurt, nor judge you. 

You will find it easier to choose to be open right away as more mental hurdles come up to voice them. The ability to speak your mind, no matter how embarrassing the thought is, will help in moving forward.

Talk about your past / not focusing on the hardships at the moment

You may be seeing your therapist due to recent events in your life, so your focus will be to figure them out. Doing this is not wrong; yet, it might be hard to find the right place to start your story.

Talking about past situations such as hardships growing up or a past brush with anxiety or depression can help loosen your tongue and mind. There is a good chance you might find a correlation between the past and current situations. 

Talk about the last emotional experience you had

Emotional experiences can be a positive way of finding areas in your life that affected you. Emotional highs and lows leave a lasting impact on your mind and your body.

Bring up the last time you had a heartwarming experience can lead to a more in-depth conversation.

Play Video

What to talk about in therapy: From Mike Shoreman

Talk over the "small" things in your life that seem not worthy of this time

The key to therapy is to get comfortable with the new human you have allowed into your most sacred thoughts. Starting with the heavy hitters and getting right down to business is impossible for most of us.

You wouldn’t ask your date to marry you after only meeting her for 15 minutes, would you?

Talk about how your friendships are going or what’s happening at work. 

Talk about your business / income / relationship / health 

Try talking about everyday things like work, income, relationships and health. Not only are these forefront on your mind, which should make them easy to discuss and get the ball rolling.

Talk about all of the positive things that have happened in your week

Positivity is a powerful emotion! It’s not boasting to start your therapy session by talking about all the positive things in life. Listing off all the items can make you smile and help feel comfortable in your new situation. 

By listing off all the positive areas in your week, you could notice a place that was not at those levels. Something that you might not have seen if you didn’t go searching for all the positives.

Play Video

What to talk about in therapy: From Lisa Ann

Ask the therapist what they think would be a right starting spot

The desire to see a therapist for the first time may be so great that you don’t have a specific area that is forefront! The feeling of “not feeling right” is the perfect reason to go see them. 

When you get into the therapy session, go ahead and lead with that. 

“Hey Susan, I’m unsure of what to start off with, I knew I needed to come in because my day to day life doesn’t feel right. Can you help me with where to start?” 

Talk about that thing in the back of the head that you are embarrassed by

A common reason we don’t see a therapist is we think that they will judge us for their thoughts and actions. This is not true; your therapist is there to listen and help you, not judge you.

Talk about a moment in your life that has been embarrassing to you. Perhaps, there is something that you want to do but have been holding off because you are embarrassed by it.

Let your therapist listen and give you the opportunity to work out the situation with their help. 

Talk about what you have dreamt about recently 

This talking point might be a little “out there” for most of you. Discussing what is going on while we sleep is a viable conversation starter.

Even though our body shuts down to repair when we sleep, our brains are still working away hard, especially if there are stressful events in your life, like anxiety or depression

Talking through the dreams could help pinpoint areas in your waking life to talk over.

Bring up how you feel the sessions haven't been valuable for you so far

Honesty, honesty, HONESTY.

The ability to open up and talk about your faults is needed. So is the ability to tell your therapist that the sessions have not been helpful so far. 

Your therapist has many ways of working with different individuals. They might have guessed wrong with you, and that’s ok because they too are only human. 

If you don’t tell them that the interactions so far haven’t worked, they won’t adapt.

Like any other professional you might hire in your life, not everyone works out. This conversation may be a good time to agree that they will help you find another therapist. 

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3 Bonus Therapy Tips

What are 4 types of talk therapies?

There are many types of talk therapy; here are four main types. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) where you set goals. Guided self-help where you work through a workbook. Behavioural activation is a talk therapy either one on one or group. Interpersonal therapy (ITP) usually over 16-20 sessions.

What you should never tell your therapist

There are exactly zero things that you should never tell your therapist. Your therapist is your confidant, who will never judge you or speak badly about you to others. By holding back information from your therapist will only hurt you in moving forward.

How to get the most out of therapy

To get the most out of therapy, you need to do these three things. One, open up about what is going on in your head and life without holding back. Two, trust your therapist. Three, accept that it is not your fault if the therapy doesn’t seem to be helping.

Therapist Near Me

Getting up the courage to seek out a therapist or counsellor near you is a considerable achievement. I applaud you for masking this first step, and it is not as easy as one would think. 

Seeing a therapist is an underused tool in our society today, yet daunting to make that first step to find one that works for you.

Having a therapist in your corner as you battle your way through challenging situations that life brings on will be a valuable asset no matter what is going on.

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Relationship Issues
  • Stress
  • Work Struggles
  • Or just needing someone to talk to

The team behind HeadsUpGuys, an organization out of The University of British Columbia, is led by Dr. John Ogrodniczuk. Together, they have put together a directory of therapists in major cities across Canada, the United States of America and the United Kingdom. Use this extremely helpful tool to find your first therapist.

Mental Health Toolbox

I am glad you have started looking into going to therapy; taking the time to invest in your brain will pay back in the long term. However, there are many things you can do today on your own that will put you in a solid place to combat your mental health struggles.

Start each morning off with a well-planned out morning routine; I have put together a blog to help guide you in the initial stages ‘my morning routine.

And treat your body and brain with care throughout the day, taking part in at least one physical activity and eating high-quality food that your gut and body can use as fuel.

You can also join my free 10 step email course, leading you through the steps and thought process on making your perfect healthy morning routine.

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In Conclusion

I hope these 10 talking points on what to talk about in therapy have helped you find your confidence. Therapy is a fantastic tool that has found itself in an area of guilt, shame and ridicule. 

This needs to change, and that change starts with us using our voices to share our stories of how it has helped us.

Use these questions to help you get started, and after time each new therapy session will get easier.

Would you help those who are shy about going to see a therapist?

Leaving a comment below saying that you go to therapy would be a huge help for everyone reading this. 


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